That's when you crack a 10am beer
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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