I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
