what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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