I'm going to jail i love you
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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