just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
