Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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