Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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