Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
