their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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