There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
