i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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