i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
