ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
