Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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