I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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