So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
