At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
