Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
