A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
