dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We left the knife in your bed.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
