Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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