We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
