why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
