Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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