marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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