So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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