I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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