Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
