OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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