while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
