just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
