I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
look no pants
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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