maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
