I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
