I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
