Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
