Where is the hickey?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
