I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
