I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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