I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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