before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
