Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
