i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
