I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
im on a boat
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