You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I will be naked everywhere
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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