it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
