can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
