Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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