Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How external is "for external use only"?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
