Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
