these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
