i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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