office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
